Scaling The Tower
by Allicloud
Summary: Inspired by HP Lovecraft's The Outsider. In an endlessforest, there is a castle. In this castle lives something. Tired of his endless solitude, he decides to scale the highest tower, to finally see something more than darkness.


Unhappy is one for whom childhood only brings memories of decay and loneliness. Spending endless years looking upon wretched, lonely hours among endless dark, dismal chambers bedecked with bookshelves and cupboards. Gazing out windows into the endless forests of trees, that stretch infinitely into the inky darkness above. Such a fate has been given to me by fate. Me- The solitary, the lonely, the silent.

And yet, for all that, I am strangely content with what fate's given me. I remain in my world of darkness with my books and my endless chambers, clinging to what few memories of any worth I still hold onto. Especially when my mind threatens to go back and dwell upon that day when I reached through to the other.

Where I came from is a mystery even to me. I have no memories of staying anywhere except in this castle, dark and old and horrible. It is full of black passages and high ceilings, where all I can see is darkness and the occasional cobweb. All about me were signs of death and decay. A hideous damp, rotting smell, as if of the dead corpses of generations. All the windows opened to the same view of the endless trees stretching into the endless black sky. From the northwest corner of the castle there stretched a single stone tower, rising high into the sky and out of sight, perhaps as high as those trees themselves, if not farther. It once may have had stairs or a ladder, but these mostly had rotted or crumbled away long ago, leaving only one way up: A sheer vertical climb up the walls of the tower.

Some creature may have lived unseen in this castle with me, for I never remember becoming hungry or thirsty. Maybe I had some kind of servant? I don't know. But the only signs I ever saw of other living things were the occasional scratching and scrabbling of some rodent or bat in the walls, or a bleached-white skeleton lying on the floor in a corridor. Other than that, it's just me and my books. In these books I would see wonderful, colourful creatures with four legs each terminating in a hoof-like stump, and a large head and short snout, with long, flowing manes of hair, the same colours as their tails, in varying shades of blue, pink, green, endless varieties of colour. Whatever these beings were, and wherever and whenever they may have lived, if ever, they seemed infinitely happier than me, ever playing and frolicking under a bright sun.

I learnt everything I know from those books, since I grew up with no teacher or mentor. I don't recall ever hearing so much as a voice speaking to me- not even my own. I had no idea how old I was, or if I even had any age. But I liked to think I was young. This was not only because it meant that I had long life of endless opportunity ahead of me, but also because my memories of life were so few and far between. Gender was equally a mystery to me. Reading in my endless books, I understood the concept of gender, but never once did I apply it to myself. Hell, I had no idea what I even looked like! There were no mirrors or reflective surfaces of any kind in the castle. So, I identified myself with the only creatures I felt kinship with: The colourful, quadrupedal creatures in my books. Like them, I would walk on all fours, swishing whatever tail I may have had back and forth. How I longed for some contact with one such creature, to play their games, to speak in their tongue.

But such a creature never came. Throughout my life inside the castle, I was never visited by any other creature. I tried to leave and explore my world outside my home, but no matter how far I travelled, the impossibly tall trees were everywhere, shrouding me in darkness. I wondered to myself, how far did they go? Maybe my castle's clearing was the only clearing in an otherwise overgrown wooded planet. I would travel for endless hours, maybe even days -I dunno, the sun never rises or sets here- before the ominous silence and desperation at the endless forest would drive me to turn around and return to my fortress of solitude.

One day (or maybe it was night?) I was patrolling the decaying, cold corridors of stone in my castle, simply looking for some way to pass the time. Through a paneless window I see it again: That gargantuan tower. Reaching up into the black sky, like those wooden poles I saw sticking out of the top of a ship in my books. What were those called again….masts? Yeah, that's what I was like: a huge stone mast. I could not even see the top of it; it just kept going, up, up, up.

In that moment, something clicked in my mind. I decided, once and for all, to leave my castle for good. I would climb up that tower, as high as I can go. Maybe I'll reach the top, at last seeing the canopy of those monstrous trees, and maybe finally escaping this lonely world…Or maybe I'll lose my grip and fall to my death. Meh, either way, it would be better than any more time in that dank castle.

So, I open the rotting, wooden door and there before me is the crumbled remnants of the tower staircase. I follow them up as far as they would lead me, before they stop abruptly, collapsed in on themselves years ago. From there on, I ascend the only way I could: using anything I could as a foothold or grip, and clambering up the wall itself.

My climb goes by without incident for the most part. Every so often, I might see a group of bats clinging to the wall. I wave an arm (Or a foreleg?) to get them out of the way. They flutter around my head, squealing in their shrill voices…I wonder what my voice sounds like?

I climb. I just keep climbing. No stop, no platforms or ledges to stop. I just keep climbing. Endless stone walls. My pace speeds up.

Surely I'll meet some sort of ceiling or landing soon?

I climb faster and faster.

I've been climbing for hours! How high does his tower go?

Faster, faster…

Maybe it goes all the way to heaven? Or it never ends? I had read a legend of a staircase that was endless, unless the climber had proven their worth beforehand.

FASTER!

Have I even moved? Maybe I haven't even gone up the tower, and it is all just some clever illusion?

I gulp and, throwing caution to the wind, I look down. My stomach turns over as I see the endless depths of the tower below me, as dark and endless as the tower above me.

BAM!

Splitting pain reverberates through my skull. Stars explode in my eyes. As I rub my throbbing head, I look up. DON'T LET GO! I nearly lose my grip.

Wooden boards, stretching across the entire tower. A ceiling.

I did it! I did it!

If I knew how, I'd shout for joy, praise the heavens, whatever you do when you're overjoyed.

Still gripping the walls, I grope blindly on the wooden ceiling, trying to find some sort of opening: a hole, a doorway, anything! I push with all my might at every spot on the ceiling, until I hear a minute creaking sound, and feel the boards give way above me. Some sort of trapdoor. Just my good luck it wasn't locked or anything.

It opens all the way, showering dust all over me and falling down into the inky blackness below. I swing myself up and over, and I'm in!

The trapdoor slams shut behind me, and I lie on the wooden floor. My chest rises and falls as I pant from the exertion. I must have been climbing for days.

I finally summon enough courage and energy to open my eyes. I'm in a large, round room. There's that trapdoor on the floor behind me. It's gloomy in here, but not nearly as dark as the castle that now lay somewhere below me. On either side of me, I see large stone shelves, filled with strange wooden boxes. What could be in them?

Before I can even think of looking in them, I feel something. A gentle breeze that wafts across my face. I never felt breezes down below. It's a lovely feeling. I follow the source of the breeze and my heart leaps.

A door. A small, wooden. Just outside that window is the view I have waited for all my life. But wait… What would the door lead to? I'm at the top of a tower! Maybe a balcony of some sort, or a hidden chamber, long forgotten. Or maybe even just a doorway to nowhere, revealing the view of the endless treetops.

I grab the iron handle of the door, twist the handle. It creaks and grates horribly, but I persevere. KLANK! Goes the latch of the door as I feel the lock give way. I pull with all my might, I fall backwards. Dusting myself off, I blink a few times to clear the dust. The doorway lies open before me.

Here it is. The view I've been looking for all my life. The endless tops of the trees that grew around my decrepid old castle. I found it at last!

In my excitement, I stumble forwards. There's a small slab of rock protruding from the floor. I trip!

I'm gonna fall. I'm gonna slip over the ledge and tumble to my death among the treetops below. At least I'll see it before I die. At least I made it…

Oof! That came sooner than I expected.

My eyes open. Beneath me is not the endless canopy of treetops I expected but…Grass.

Grass?

I raise my head. I'm lying face-first on the ground. The ground? How is this even possible? I was climbing a tower into the sky last thing I remember! Did I fall at some point and not remember? Maybe the impact of the fall gave me amnesia or something…

Up we get, now…My chin smarts from the fall, but otherwise I'm fine. I rub my hoof (Or maybe it is a hand? I can't really tell) on there, but move on.

All around me is a grassy field, bathed in the light of the sky above me. I've never seen the sky before, I wonder if it's always this dark? No, no of course not! It must be night time. Yes, there's the starry sky above me. Thousands of tiny lights dotting the navy blue backdrop. And above me, a huge, silvery white circle, the…moon, is that the name? I know I've read about it before somewhere. So beautiful…

But after a few minutes stargazing, the sheer insanity of it hits me. I just spent hours, perhaps days, climbing a tower from the ground, opened and door and find myself on…the ground. And here I am, instead of looking over endless vistas of trees, stretching off into the distance, I am in a grassy enclosure, surrounded by what may be some ancient, white marble sculptures. This makes no sense! Maybe all my years of solitude have finally taken their toll, and I've total snapped. No…no, if I was insane, all this would seem normal to me…I might be a little insane, but I'm at least sane enough to recognise this.

I wander around a bit, to get a better feel of my surroundings. Looks like I'm somewhere in the mountains. Down below me stretches a huge valley as far as the eye can see. In the distance I see the dim lights of some small village down there. But my eyes are caught instead by a far brighter source of light just to my right.

Give me a moment to pick my jaw up from the ground where it just dropped. It's the most stunning sight I've ever seen. Built into the eternal stone of those mountains is an enormous castle. My mind goes back to the ruined, crumbling castle I came from, now far away…or maybe…far below?

Maybe at one time, my castle was the same: Towering, grand and glorious against the night sky, made all in white marble and gold and precious stones of all colours. It almost glowed, it was so stunning!

As I stumble along some sort of path, still reeling from the revelation of this world, I hear a sound not far away. Quick, behind that bush! I duck down, peeking over the top of the shrub that lies by the path. Some creatures are coming down the path. I can't see them yet, but I hear their approach. Then, as they near the massive white citadel, they come into view. There goes my jaw again. I've really got to stop dropping it!

There they were. Those beings from my old, dusty books. The same quadrupedal, brightly coloured bodies. The same long, flowing hair. The same round heads and short snouts. Six of them of a variety of colours and builds walk down the path (Well, four of them walked. One is flying alongside them on feathered blue wings, and one, with a coat and mane of the most garish pink colour, is positively bouncing along!), chattering animatedly to one another. I can't quite catch what they're saying, but it's clear they're happy about something.

My eyes follow them as they walk up the path, past my hiding place, and into the massive white castle at the end.

I know the danger. I have no idea what these creatures are like. They might be horrible, vicious monsters who slaughter and mutilate for their own amusement. For that matter, they could be the kindest creatures in the world. Only one way to find out.

Keeping my footfalls as silent as possible, I emerge from the bush and hurry up the path after them. I have to find out what these creatures are like. They seem happy enough, so maybe they are friendly.

A few hours pass as I sneak after them, through the gates of the massive castle, and into some sort of courtyard. It's completely empty except for them and I, and a few crates which I hide behind. Where could everybody else be?

My ears prick up again. Voices, shouts, laughing, singing from inside the castle. Some sort of party?

The six I followed smile to eachother, perhaps sharing some secret joke. They hurry up the steps to the door of the castle, their hoofed legs making little clattering noises against the stone. The heavy wooden door creaks open, light spilling out into the dimly lit courtyard, before they enter and the door closes behind them. So much for following them in. It swings open a second time as another of these creatures comes out. A white one this time, decked out in shining golden armour and a helmet with a great blue plume…A figure of strength and authority, if there ever was.

Strong and authoritative maybe, but not the most friendly-looking fellow. With a scowl, he stands outside the heavy doors, imposing and intimidating, like a finely painted statue of marble and gold.

Lucky for me, he's looking the way he is. Quietly as possible, up I get. Round the back and out of sight one again. There must be another way in…The noises from within, of some sort of party or gathering, are just too much for me. I have to go among them, finally meet a creature that isn't a bat or a rat, to see their smiling faces, as they were shown in my countless books, perhaps even, to speak with them in some voice I have yet to find.

Just my good luck! An open window…it's high up, but not too high. There's a couple more crates under it too. I climb up the crates and peek over the top of the windowsill…

I never thought there'd be this many of them! Not just those six I saw earlier, but dozens of all colours and shapes and ages. Several are even wearing outfits of sorts; jackets, dresses, robes, even a few more of those armoured ones, milling about, talking. Some have horns, some have wings, some have neither…Except those two.

A couple of the creatures stand near the back, talking with those same six whom I followed here. Both have a single horn extending from their foreheads, and a huge pair of wings folded on their backs. The smaller of the two is a dark navy-blue colour, with long, flowing hair of a similar colour. But the bigger of the two is the one who catches my eye.

Fur of the purest white. Deep, big purple eyes. Hair that seems to flow and sway behind her, in all sorts of colours, including a few I don't think I've seen before.

In an instant, I'm smitten. She's just so beautiful, so pure, so graceful… I have to talk to her!

That's it then, all caution is thrown out the window as I throw myself through it, into the hallway.

I land on all fours in the massive room, and in an instant, my brightest moment of hope is thrown into the blackest convulsion of fear and despair. For as I stare around, every face distorts as their voices tear forth with the most terrifying screams of horror and disgust. Where are you all going? A mad rush all around me. Several of them faint and collapse to the floor, and have to be dragged out. Furniture is overturned. Out the door they all flee, shepherded by the two larger ones, the navy-blue one in front, the stunning white one behind. For the briefest moment she looks back and our eyes meet. She stares back at me with those big, violet eyes. Does she recognise me? Do I know her? Her lips mouth a word. 'Returned'?

So here I am…all alone in here. I stand dazed and shocked by the sudden departure. My eyes scan the room. Something else is here, there must be. Something hideous, something terrifying Something that scared away all those creatures.

As I gaze around, I catch a tiny movement in an archway off to the side. It's a small arch in the wall. I can see another room through it, remarkably like this one. I approach the arch and the movement becomes more apparent. It's in there, whatever it is. No point in being timid now, I stand in front of the arch, ready to face whatever comes through. And there goes any sensation in my body, save for chilling undiluted fear. Out of my mouth comes the first, and last noise I ever make: a ghastly, raspy screech of fright and terror as it comes into view. The thing that, in a mere second, changed dozens of bright and happy revellers into a frenzied fleeing mass.

I can't really even describe it. Like the living epitome of the word horror…decaying, hideous, horror. It's shrivelled, twisted form was draped in a tattered, ragged cloak of some kind. It hardly even looks alive, except for the occasional movement in its body. Shifting balance from one rotten foot to another. The putrid, rotting, dripping personification of death and decay.

Move. I need to move. I need to get away from it. My eyes refuse to tear themselves off the figure in the archway. Can't even blink or close them…Only one thing I can do. I raise my foreleg to shield my eyes from the hideous sight. No, too fast! Off balance, I stumble forwards, towards the thing!

No, back, get back! It lurches forwards at me. I stagger forwards a few feet, and he comes fully into focused view. I throw my foreleg forwards to push it back before it grabs me, and it does the same. I try to draw back, but too late. My outstretched arm touches the reaching limb of that monstrosity.

I don't cry out, but every monster, every nightmare screams for me, as all at once, it comes back. The gushing flood of mind-shattering memory. I remember beyond my rotting, stone castle and the trees surrounding it. Recognition floods my mind, of this whole area, this marble castle and this land in which I stand. I remember…no, I recognise…it. The rotting, furless thing that now looms on two feet before me. My face splits into an insane grin. He grins back.

I'm back in the garden, surrounded by those marble statues. I ran back here from that castle, not fleeing from fear of that thing. No, you only run from what you don't understand, what you don't know. And I know exactly what that was.

And now I'm running, ever running across this land, over its colourful plains of flowers and trees. I couldn't find the way back. The door that led back to that tower. Eh, no big deal, I hated that rotting old dump anyway. Now I run, I bound across fields with the ghouls and horrors of the night, and play by day in the caverns and tunnels below ground. I now know, the light is not for me, save for the moon overhead as I gambol over hill and dale through the night, and no party or festival will welcome me save those macabre and twisted feasts in the darkest of the hillside thickets.

For although I am now calm compared to then, I know forever that I'm an outsider in this world. This I now know, ever since that night in that white hall in that castle among the four-legged beauties of this world. Ever since they fled the moment I entered.

Ever since I stretched out to touch the abomination that stood before me in that golden archway and my reach touched neither flesh nor bone, but a surface of reflective glass.


End file.
